The Secret Ingredient to Achieving Your Goal
BY JENNESSA DURRANI OF WW.JENNESSADURRANI.COM
We've turned the page on a new year. Are you among the millions that have BIG plans for this new year? Have resolutions just oozing out of you?
First off...stop.
You and I both know that resolutions do not stick.
Why is that?
A resolution is, by definition, a firm decision to do something. It's a proclamation. It's just words.
Instead, lets' talk about what does work and when used in combination are nearly iron clad!
Resolutions, Goals, and Intentions...What's the Difference?
With resolutions we focus on the action without a purpose, i.e. I'm going to lose weight, I'm going to exercise more, I'm going to get more rest, etc.
Instead, you need to understand what it is that you want. Where did this idea for a resolution come from? What problem are you hoping to solve? Is it an old behavior/habit that you want to change? Is it a new habit you want to create?
With those answers you can determine the goal instead or where it is you want to head. Keep your goals focused on a proposed outcome.
For example:
I want to get stronger this year.
I want to gain more energy this year.
I want to eliminate my stress this year.
I want to take care of myself this year.
I want to reduce my blood pressure, cholesterol, or other health markers.
I want to find more fulfilling work this year.
I want to strengthen my relationships this year.
I want to find my spark this year.
Those become your goals or your destination.
Then you put an intention to the goal. Where the goal is your destination, your intention is your journey. How do you want to get there?
Everyone will be different.
For example, I want to get stronger this year, could have several possible intentions...I will eat clean, or do cross-fit, or try a yoga practice, or start lifting weights, etc. It's all about how you want to get to your goal.
A resolution is just a proclamation.
A goal is your destination, or somewhere to head.
An intention is a journey on how you want to travel to that destination.
Creating a Practice for the Long Game
Without a solid action plan, a goal with an intention can still just be empty words or proclamations to start out the new year. And there are a few critical steps in creating an action plan, or a daily practice, that will last beyond January 19th.
Step 1: What is the Impact?
Before we hit the ground running, we really need to understand the why. Why do we want to get stronger, build better relationships, find more fulfilling work, etc.? What impact will it make on our lives? And more importantly what is the cost if we don't get to our goal? The answers here will help you in your follow through. We are more apt to do the work if we truly believe in the outcome.
Step 2: Understand your current reality.
Now it's time to look at your goal and your intention and see how they work within your current reality. This is the time to be completely honest with yourself. This is why we start with goals that are meaningful to us at our core. Do you currently have the time, space, energy, funds, etc. to get to your goal with your intention? If you want to get stronger with a yoga practice, do you have access to a yoga studio? Do you have the funds to join? Do you have the space and equipment to do it at home? Heck, do you enjoy yoga?
We need to think of all of the possible roadblocks in our way before we get started. It seems like a negative way to start, but again, we want these goals to be achieved, so we must understand all of the possible pitfalls before they come because they are coming either way! And when they do, we want to have a solution in our back pocket!
Step 3: Start Small...Like TINY!
Our natural inclination is to hit the ground running...literally! If we want to get stronger by running, we decide we want to run 5 miles a day every day even if we don't yet own sneakers.
You know you have done that!
The goal you selected should be a long-term goal. An overarching destination. And one that you will continue to work towards all year. We need to pace ourselves. So select a daily action that you can do every day this week to get you incrementally closer to your goal. For the running example, this week I will get up 10 minutes early, put on my sneakers, and walk outside. That's it. Make it so darn simple to achieve that it is a no-brainer. I want you to give yourself a giant high five for just walking out onto your front step.
You need to implement small. TINY!
The key is that whatever you select, you need to do it every day. Habits are created by repetition. Make it something that you can achieve every day of the week. This can change each week, just commit to a daily action for this particular week.
Step 4: Adjust the Sails
Whatever your goal, whatever your intention, you need to start small, celebrate your success each week, and then slowly build up until you have a strong practice that you are able to continue to achieve each week. A common pitfall is we go all-in on day 1 and can't keep up the momentum, and/or we are not taking our reality into play and don't create a daily action plan that can actually be done daily.
As you start to build your practice you will see that you need to make adjustments. Your goal might change. You might have started out wanting to be stronger when you realize it's much more about energy or vise versa. Or you might realize that your intention has changed. Both can be changed. We just always need to continue to have a destination to work towards and a solid intention on how we want to get there. Making these adjustments are not a sign of weakness. They aren't a sign of failure. They are you adjusting the sails to get you to your destination on your terms and in a way that will give you success. Today is not forever. Pick daily actions that you can keep to for the following week, then readjust as necessary.
Using Community to Assure Success
You've selected your goal and understand the impact it will have on your life.
You've determined your intention on how you plan to get to your goal.
“The secret ingredient is accountability.”
You've identified your potential pitfalls and roadblocks and have potential solutions to avoid them.
You've determined your daily action plan to build a strong practice to assure you stay focused on your intention and your goal.
These are critical steps in your success, but there is one piece that makes this plan absolutely foolproof. One that will absolutely assure your success.
You see, we are excellent at being accountable to everyone else's needs, but we fall short when it comes to our own. We need to build in accountability to assure that we don't let ourselves down.
Picture yourself all snug in your bed mid-February when your alarm goes off at 5 AM. It's snowing outside and your daily action this week is to run a mile each morning. Your warm bed is going to be like a magnet. It just is. A daily practice is powerful, but a daily practice plus accountability is iron clad.
If on that snowy morning you know that on the other side of your front door is someone waiting to run with you, what is the likeliness that you are going to get up and put those sneakers on. Almost 100%.
Leveraging community for accountability is what will assure you get to your success this year.
There are communities for everything! Want to learn how to sing--join a choir. Want to run a marathon (God love ya!)--join a running club. Want to find a new hobby—take a class.
I clearly believe in the power of community. That's my jam!
Creating daily practices, finding our passions and our "what's next", and learning to focus on ourselves again is what we do within A Daily Practice. But even I use other communities in my own journey.
I am an avid art journaler, but it's easy for me to let my creative practice slide when I get busy, so I am part of the Get Messy Art community.
I am always looking to simplify my life, find calm, balance and quiet, so I belong to the Little Bites of Joy community.
This month I have experimented with cold water immersion and have joined an amazing group of women through the ebb.and.flow.collective to do it in community. There is no flippin' way that I would walk into the ocean when it's 26 degrees outside by myself. Absolutely no way!
Look at your goals, your intentions, and reality and determine what type of community you need for each to hold you accountable. To hold you up. To support you. To cheer you on. What do you need to assure you don't let YOU down?
Combining goals that are meaningful and focused on an outcome, with a solid intention on how you want to get there and topped with accountability through community will assure that you WILL get to your destination!
Want to learn more about A Daily Practice and our Masterclass? Watch this quick video!
Jennessa Durrani is a personal development coach using art and connection to lift moms from the muddle of midlife. She helps tired and depleted women reignite the flame they were born with and discover new directions through her Life by Design curriculum and the Daily Practice community. When you join her community, you will find nourishment for the heart and mind with a circle of supportive, like-minded women encouraging each other to shine. Her community is open to new members at http://adailypractice.mn.co. To learn more about Jennessa, visit: www.jennessadurrani.com @justjennessa